Behold, all my brethen, the the 1 pedia to end all wiki, the 1 medium to end all online satire, THE CONSERVAPEDIA.
At first glance, the site looks to be a legit bullshit collection similiar to the onion or uncyclopedia, set up as a medium where we can all mock the conservative nutheads (Bill O'Reily). The sad truth however I found after some digging disproved the long standing theory that conservatists are too dumb to operate the computer.
For example, look at this article on wikipedia -" It is wholesale purveyor of lies and slander unlike any other the world has ever known" and on liberal - "someone who rejects logical and biblical standards, often for self-centered reason". Obviously, this site is highly objective and unbiased. Afterall, we only need look at the pure logic of the following article on gays.
"if all Americans turned homosexual it would only take a few generations for the United States to lose most of the population of the country through lack of procreation. This would make the US more vulnerable to attack by our enemies"
Can't argue with that. The world turning gay = NO more reproduction. What an deep and analytical insight. They should win the Nobel Prize for their genius or something.
what was truly awesome was that they linked Obama to communism, elitism and muslim but named Hilter as a man who consciously sought to make the practices of Germany conform to the theory of evolution. Well, so America chose a worse leader than Adolf.
THis guys make scientologists look like saints.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
One day I'll get to whisper
Headache. Like bees around my head Nicholas Cage style. Only the bees were on fire and weren't CGI. Ate some honey to soothe throat. Suck that, bees, I'm eating your shit!!!! Metaphor getting out of hand.
Had to cancel the tution lessons, losing me 70 freaking dollars. No income for the week. Not that I care. In all truth, these plastic notes are but monopoly money, assigned a value by our institutions. Even a return to the gold standard wouldn't change that. Gold is useless, made valuable only by our feeble faculties that equate aesthetics and scarcity to value. Arggh, who am I kidding!
On an unrelated note, I wished that the Swine Flu would evolve and turn us all into Pig-zombies. That'll be pretty interesting. Personally, I want powers like those of spider-pig and use it to take over the world. My plan would go something like this.
Swine flu - everybody dies - Everybody pig zombies - I eat some spiders - A miracle occurs - I take over the world - Pig zombies start flying like airpork mascots
A++++ - Micheal bay could probably turn this into a movie, filling every stage of the plan with random explosions and make the pigs fly in slow motion.
Had to cancel the tution lessons, losing me 70 freaking dollars. No income for the week. Not that I care. In all truth, these plastic notes are but monopoly money, assigned a value by our institutions. Even a return to the gold standard wouldn't change that. Gold is useless, made valuable only by our feeble faculties that equate aesthetics and scarcity to value. Arggh, who am I kidding!
On an unrelated note, I wished that the Swine Flu would evolve and turn us all into Pig-zombies. That'll be pretty interesting. Personally, I want powers like those of spider-pig and use it to take over the world. My plan would go something like this.
Swine flu - everybody dies - Everybody pig zombies - I eat some spiders - A miracle occurs - I take over the world - Pig zombies start flying like airpork mascots
A++++ - Micheal bay could probably turn this into a movie, filling every stage of the plan with random explosions and make the pigs fly in slow motion.
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