WHAT TIME IS IT?!

Contrary to popular belief, tiger beer is not made with tiger penis, so I declare this poem time.

Blue bells of Valentines

Red lines of twine

My cupid has resigned

To a depressed rest

In the treasure chest

Locked below my breasts

You’ve hidden the only key

Among rose petals beneath your tree

That curves with your gleaming crescents

Beaming smiles for my constant anti-depressant

I hear the grave tolling of the blue bells

The melancholy and lonely its notes foretells

Trapping my heart in its musical cell

Guess I’ll play my forlorn tune

And linger in this gloomy cocoon

Hoping that full moons get faded soon

Neither is it Valentines but since life is absurd according to KI, I shall try to be as ridiculous as possible in order to make sense of it.

"I could not bear to see your heart broken, so I cracked your skull open"

that would make an awesome Joker quote. Teehee

And Edison sodomised a hen

My mom forced me to look through my brother's maths homework today. It was awful, like really shaowei-failing-maths awful.

Me: You are going to clean toilets at the rate your are going
Bro: Einstein was retarded when he was a kid
Me: WTF?!

Evidently, they learned that from their chinese text, which really disturbs me, then again its Singapore's screwed up education system. (The Lee spies will probably come to me with a pointy reckoning for this).

To clear this up, Einstein IS A FREAKING GENIUS, EVEN WHEN HE WAS A KID. HE WAS earning his math PHD when we were screwing around with trigo. The only thing retarded about him is his hair, so there.

BTW, I was also misguided into thinking that Benjamin Franklin discovered electricty when his kite conuducted a whole damn ligtning bolt to him. That is freaking stupid and untrue. Lightning fucking kills you. Period. I heard that the origins of this myth was a disney cartoon.

Well, I guess textbooks pretty much publishes anything that our gullible citizens believe to be true ( thank god for KI). When the Lee Danasty finally declares themselves to be dictators for life, the textbooks will probably say that MM Lee discovered SIngapore with his slaves, Raffles and David Marshall.

Cheer Time!!!

Days of barbaric chanting has turned my brain to mush, but whatever crap I write can't be worse than Apollo's current cheer.

Why does this blows
Cos we Apollo
Pimps and Slut hoes
All from Apollo
Now the weeds grow
Over Apollo
Super shallow
Glowing Apollo

Terrifying stupidity

A Modest Proposal

Lets go defame all intellactual property we are too dumb to understand!

Well, and that was an example of a short satire.

WHAT do you mean that wasn't an irony piece? The title is the very fundamentals that satire is built upon. Sheesh, you guys should learn to judge stuff by its cover...

Well, now that I'm busy and can play dota, i really shouldn't be posting, but well I simply to release the indignation that had been ignited by a review I just read. Well, it kind of reminded me of how awesome Terror Island was as a webcomic and how crestfallen I was when it ended. Anyways, I stumbled on this piece of crap (http://webcomicssobad.blogspot.com/2007/11/terror-island.html) while searching for new productions of the authors. The ignorance this retard had displayed simply shows why shitty senseless comdies like drawn together can actually get millions of viewers, matching that of the stellar and brillantly written 30 rock. Well, his stupidity and inability to undertstand some of the jokes is comprehensible but his critism simply displayed such naivety and Oh god! what a boring review it was. Well, that was my review of someone else's review of a webcomic.

Support Terror Island! Support non-profit Innovation!

P.S terror island is a photocomic that stars philosophical chess pieces, not that godawful movie of the same name.

Its PEANUTBUTTERJELLYTIME!!!!!!!

Raindance

Plant the lifeless seed

In this frozen desert

Amidst the stampede of weed

And the tempest of dirt

Remember last summer

Before the tygers

We watch the sky soak in soft lavender

White angels dance against crimson embers

Now black devils ascend from fiery hell

Burning with thirst the Nile can’t quell

In their wake stalks sulphuric smells

And ashes whispering of the life they fell

Bring back the sparkling meanders

Or face the wrath of African dancers

“POUR WITH THE TEARS OF A THOUSAND HEAVENS”

I cried for the return of nature’s haven

The sky fissured as thunder rolled

As the fury of Oya took its toll

Hell gagged and gurgled from the flood

Vanished in a euphoric explosion of Grease and blood

When the storm began to mellow

Across the horizon burst forth a rainbow

The chestnut soldier rooted itself against the bridge of red blue and yellow

Branches stretched to resemble a holy cross

Rigid in the rubble of lichen and moss

I got this warm fuzzy feeling in my guts

And thought, “Oh God, I’m high on drugs”

Yeah, I got really bored during the 4th stanza and so decided to have some fun. So here it is in all its glory.

Teehee, Random Religious References

Looking through the twisted mind

Big Bang theory is great!

Sheldon: Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Miss Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles an hour, hits them and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.

And that just traumatized me, and got me thinking on Superheroes and the first thing that came to my mind after Superman was Wonderwoman :P

Well, supposedly, she’s impenetrable, and I mean, every single part of her is IMPENETRABLE!

So yeah, you see the problem (someone tell her mother she’s not getting any grandchildren). Well, so that’s why there was abrupt end to the Bats-wonder relationship in JLU. At least theres always the man of steel (SuPERMAN). So I guess the solution to when an unstoppable force meets an unbreakable object would be Super babies.

Speaking of which, Claire Bennet from Heroes would forever remain a technical virgin. (Mmmmm......)

Yeah, and then it hit me, the little mermaid! I mean, technically, Ariel was only promised legs….

I can already imagine the awkward scene.

Prince: Lets consummate our love

Ariel: With a kiss?

Prince: No… (Feels around) Holy Crap! WTF is this!

Ariel: Yeah, I’m gonna go lay some eggs now

Only Disney could be this short-sighted.

Highfive

Muhaha, I am actually posting, so like take that, blogspot, cos I'm taking up your space with nonsense. And I saw this super awesome cartoon today,.... on drugs, on cartoon network. It was probably quite old since it was shown in retro timeslot or some crap but it was definitely awesome. It was mainly like a bunch of cartoon characters trying to stop a boy trying to take drugs. How often do you get to see Bugs Bunny and Batman together?!

Though I doubt the effectiveness of the whole cartoon, cos it seemed that the message was, "Don't take drugs or all your favourite characters will magically appear for you". Yeah, I'm probably missing the point here.

Maybe it was supposed to be satire piece and the faggy boy probably already took some drugs and Yeah! I'm totally gonna try some of that!

Anyways, there were appearances of Johnny Bravo, Bugs. Daffy, TMNT and blah blah, you should totally see it. Speaking of TMNT, I bet the writers were on crack when they did that one.

Writer 1: Do you know what's cool

Writer 2: What

Writer 1: Radioactive poisoning, its like all the rage now, like all those guys who got poisoned and got like superpowers!

Writer 3: Yeah! Do you think maybe smoking all this crap will like poison us and turn us into Superman?

Writer 3: hahahaha...., I just threw some weed into your tank dude

Writer 1: You retarded fuck, they could get poisoned and..

Writer 2: turn into Super Turtles?! (sarcasm)

Writer 3: Ninjas! like little ninja turtles!

Writer 2: ....

Writer 1: hahaha, like their archenemy could be a samurai, cos samurai totally hate ninjas

Writer 2: yeah..., and maybe they would have a mouse for a teacher and we can eat piss for dinner

Writer 3: fucking awesome!

Yeah, and the teenage part was probably aimed to whitewash the minds of American teens ( like that would make any difference)